blessings

At ten weeks pregnant, we found out last week during a routine appointment that God had chosen to take our baby home.  My heart is grieving and aching for this child I will never hold.  This is the fourth child we've lost, yet the pain is the same and maybe even greater this time. 

I am thankful that I "sorrow not as those who have no hope", for I know that I will see this child in Heaven.  I am trusting in my precious Heavenly Father who has a plan even when I do not understand, and if I allow Him, He will use this to help me know Him more.

A friend sent me this song and it has been a balm to my soul....

Blessings

by Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

prayer

One of the most necessary yet difficult things to teach young believers is in the area of prayer. Most know how to
be thankful,
ask forgiveness,
intercede for others,
yet often miss what it is to truly "commune" with God and share that intimate fellowship that is so critical for the effective Christian walk.

It is a sacred place that once you enter, never want to leave; and when life pulls you away, there is always a desire to return.

It is a secret place, reserved for the Father and His child; the Bridegroom and His bride.  A place for utterings that cannot be uttered.   

Charles Spurgeon best described the way to enter this intimate place when he said that you must "pray til you can pray".  You have to pray until all the distractions of life dim and you are able to fully concentrate all of your mind to true prayer in its purest form.

Confession of sin in order to reconcile your relationship with God is of great importance, and then true worship is one element that seems often neglected in prayer times.  It is a time of recognizing how marvelous and great our God is with an attitude of worship and praise.  Thanksgiving is important, but there is a difference in thanking God and in praising Him for Who He is:

The Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omniscient One. 
Our Divine Creator.
The Giver of Life.
Our Intercessor.
Our Father.
God.

The Lord's Prayer models this for us--  "Our Father which art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name..."

C. S. Lewis offered this explanation when he wrote, "It is in the process of being worshiped that God communicates His presence to men."

This intimacy in prayer is like a food that is a delicacy.  Until it is tasted, the flavor is unknown, but once it has satiated our palates, we desire it

again

and again 

and again. 

our dinner table

One of the things I will miss the most when my children are grown are our times around the dinner table. From silly games to discussions, it is a precious time that we have together. We laugh more around our dinner table than probably any other time. It is a time to stop and enjoy each other. It is a wonderful time of training for the little ones, and a time when we can invest in the minds of our children. As the children get older, I hope that it will be a place that we can hold thought provoking discussions. Ray took the television out of the house a few months ago and it has been one of the greatest blessings to our home. Now we don't rush off to see the next sporting event or to watch Andy Griffith reruns, but we sit and enjoy each others company.

We often see in the Bible times of fellowship around a meal. As Christians, we are all looking forward to the marriage supper of the Lamb. I believe it is a worthy example to follow in our lives. Culture and the television have robbed us of this wonderful blessing to our home and family.

I challenge anyone reading this to try to institute this wonderful, memory making time into your family's schedule. Even in a busy pastor's home, we usually are able to enjoy a good meal and fellowship together at least three times a week.

It takes some planning to make this happen, and there are a few things I do to help accomplish this for our family.

1. PLAN. I usually plan for 14-21 meals when I go grocery shopping. I let the kids and Ray help me pick out the meals, and I try to make their favorites on those special nights we will have time to spend together. I decide the night before what meal I will cook so I can put out meat to defrost or any other things that need early preparation. This planning helps us eat AT HOME and save money from grabbing something out at the last minute.

2. PREPARE. We think of things we want to discuss with our children, such as what they are doing in their devotions, home school, or church. We free our nights up, so that when we are finished eating we can sit and talk for 20-30 minutes. We don't have a set time frame, but this is our usual at our children's ages. I look forward to longer times as our children get older and we have deeper discussions.

3. PLAY. (You can tell I'm married to a preacher -- I just alliterated my points) We play silly games, like the "stare game" or "you can't make me laugh". The kids tell silly jokes. We enjoy side splitting laughter.

I wish I could bottle all the memories I already have from our dinner times so that when my children are grown I could pull them out and enjoy them again. I am so thankful for the family God has given me to enjoy. He is so good!!!

reflections

As I turn the last page of 2010 today, and reflect upon all that has been written this year, I am once again enthralled by God's handiwork in my life. This has been one of the most difficult years for our family, yet through the difficulties God has lovingly drawn us closer to his comforting arms where solace was only to be found through His Word and prayer.

My mom found out in July that she had lymphoma. We've watched her endure chemo therapy this year and a host of side effects from the treatments. She has been such testimony of God's grace and a wonderful example to her children and grandchildren through this trial. It truly made me realize how thankful I was for my mother. One of my first thoughts when I realized that something very serious was going on was a fearful one of life without her prayers. I so desire to be that kind of prayer warrior for my children.

This has been the most difficult year we've had personally in the ministry as well, but God again has used every hardship to cause us to lean on Him when we couldn't depend on our past successes or personality to pull us through. Again we've seen His hand every step of the way, as He has guided and matured us.

2010 was not without unspeakable joys as we welcomed Ruston Taylor into our family in February. He has added a wonderful sparkle to our days with his captivating smile and twinkling blue eyes. How I love the sweetness of a newborn and marvel at how they change during these first precious months.

I've enjoyed watching each of my children grow this year. What a joy to have the opportunity to spend my days with them as I watch them grow and mature.

God has been so good to me!!!

Psalm 144:12

As I prepare for the new year, I am reminded of one of my long term goals in rearing my children found in Ps 144:12, "That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth: that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace:"

My desire is that my boys be mature in their youth. I pray everyday that God will help me to balance responsibility with childhood play, so that they grow into young men able to care and provide for their own families someday. I also desire that my daughter will be polished and a lady in every
way. Faced with the culture today, these seem to be almost impossible tasks, yet ones that Ray and I take very seriously as we beg God for daily wisdom.

five minutes

My sweet husband has been encouraging me to keep up this blog for several years now, yet time and my perfectionism has often gotten in the way. Today, I had a friend encourage me to commit to five minutes a day. To be honest, I was tempted to wait until I "knew" I wouldn't fail at this commitment before beginning, but that's just my perfectionism again. I'll commit and trust in God to help me. so here goes...

Today we celebrated Reece's third birthday. What a joy he is to our family! Everyone loves our "Reece cup". He is very loving and tender, and although usually quiet, loves to make us laugh with his funny antics. He's lived most of his life in the South and we get tickled at his slow Southern drawl.

When I was pregnant, I had a talk with Rylan and shared with him that I wanted him to be responsible for helping me with Reece. I never imagined how he would take that to heart. It is a joy to my heart to watch Rylan take such loving care of him. He loves Reece passionately and Reece reciprocates that love.

Reece loves to cuddle and I cherish every moment I have of these tender days. God has been so good to me!!

Wait
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

My first thought when I read this poem was that the only way Mr. Kelfer could have written this was through experience. I don't know if anyone who has not been in a position of having to desperately cling to God through a trial could fully appreciate these words - and my mind goes back to years of desperate pleading and waiting on a child to fill our empty arms...

This year has been a difficult year in our lives as we've faced many "new" trials, but of course Ecclesiastes 1:9 tells us that, "The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun."

The past few weeks it seems as if I find myself in this "waiting" time again as we wait to find out if my mother has cancer, and if so, how progressed it is. All of life's other trials and pressures dim in the light of this new one.

I know that God is working for my good (and my mother's), and for that I am thankful. My heart is so heavy, but at the same time my prayer time is sweet as God's grace surrounds me and His strength upholds me. (2 Cor. 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. )

I'd rather not be here facing this trial right now, but I wouldn't want to miss the precious times with my Father as I long to truly know Him. For now I'll just wait.... God is good!